.

'Life and Deaf' — Birth of a Child

I gaze at this wonder child resting in my arms.I try to forget the past, those agonizing months of worrying about birthing a defective baby, and the future; and begin to relax in the moment.

The nurse holds up my first child, “It’s a boy!” Raymond Lewis Hines, III. What a moniker for such an innocent little tyke, but again I follow the “Father Knows Best” '50s crowd and my husband’s request, naming son after father after grandfather.

“He’s beautiful. Perfect.” She says. I’ve missed the miracle. I smile stupidly, still out of it. Too many miracle drugs.

Next thing I know I’m in my room, the nurse is shaking me and dropping a bundle into my arms. I’ve opted to breastfeed, and have slept off enough of the drugs to focus. I see a lovely pink bald head, intense blue eyes, perfectly formed ears. Will they be able to channel sound? All I want to do is rip off the swaddling, and explore him all over, but before I can check every inch of him he begins to whimper. I fumble about while the nurse makes gooing sounds trying to situate the baby’s already sucking mouth somewhere close to my breast.

“Don’t worry. This is just a dry run, your milk isn’t in yet,” she says as she leaves me finally alone with my son.

I gaze at this wonder resting in my arms as the heat from his body seeps into mine both of us remembering that safe inner cavern from which he’s been expelled. I try to forget the past, those agonizing months of worrying about birthing a defective baby; and the future, and begin to relax in the moment. He knows nothing but. It works and I lose track of time. I touch, squeeze, explore this little extension of myself, unswaddling him bit by bit. He’s perfect. I can’t explain the communion of our two bodies, souls, whatever that I feel. We are joined. It is the most intense and comforting experience of my 24-year life.

We both are rudely awakened to cries of the nurse, “Thank God. He’s here!”

“What?” I jerk us both awake.

“The baby. We’d lost one in the nursery.”

I don’t get it. “Huh?’

“You’re the only nursing mother of the dozen babies in here. We forgot he was with you.”

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Lucena Winberg December 07, 2012 at 09:06 PM
Enjoyed your story, Jill. Is there more?
Jill Green December 09, 2012 at 12:44 AM
Glad you liked it, Lucena. There's lots more. Check out my blog at www.costajill.com and keep posted on Sarasota Patch. I'm working on this book to be published as a memoir. I also have a book Free To Bloom on Amazon.com or from my website www.freetobloombook.com in either soft cover or ebook format about a woman's adventures in Costa Rica while living on her own.

Boards

More »
Got a question? Something on your mind? Talk to your community, directly.
Note Article
Just a short thought to get the word out quickly about anything in your neighborhood.
Share something with your neighbors.What's on your mind?What's on your mind?Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell somethingPost something
See more »